It has been such an amazing journey just to arrive at the beginning.
I definitely didn't enter graduate school with the intention of writing about vibrational healing. I entered graduate school because I love music. I love to listen to music, play music, talk about music, and write about music. I entered into a graduate program in a music department so that I could devote myself to that cause.
And then life happened... or I happened in or with life... and everything changed. I became disenchanted with the world of academia and physically sick with pneumonia. I spent about two months during the summer mostly at home in bed sick. During my sickness I began to have "other worldly experiences" and it was brought to my attention that I needed to become a healer and study a variety of ways of healing. The consequences of not heeding this call was that I would not get better.
It feels so strange to write out what happened so matter-of-fact because the actual process was deeply unsettling and frightening. Everything I thought about what I was doing and who I am completely disintegrated. The very texture of my reality frayed and unraveled.
Is this a dream or is this real? What does real mean again?
This instability led me to spend the last year in meditation with the following questions:
1.) How could this destabilization and reformation exist within academic scholarship?
2.) What is healing?
3.) What is listening?
4.) How should I respond to the question(s)
"why does your research matter?" "why does healing matter?"
During the past year I began studying Reiki and Tibetan Sound Bowl Healing. What I found through going to workshops, classes, and talking with practioners is that people kept talking about "vibrational healing" and "vibration."
Slowly, everything began to click. I realized that my offering can be in depth exploration into Healing and Listening.
Really, my ideas have a life of their own and I see myself only as their caretaker and guardian. I do not own them and neither can anyone else. How could I? How could anyone own these processes?
After a year of walking and talking in circles I came up with these words, which you see plastered all over my website:
My dissertation is about vibrational healing modalities, spaces, and practitioners.
What does that mean